June 2011
that awkward moment when you feel like you like someone so much more than they like you.
Home.
Home from dance. Last rehearsal went great ;; I went HAM ;P Now just gotta keep practicing until the showcase on Sunday. I have faith we will do great. Now going to relax the rest of the night. Tomorrow’s plans: School then going to workout. Thursday: Going HAM with my workout then beach. Friday: HAM again. Saturday: Relaxing. I have a feeling the next few days and weeks will be good. So pumped and motivated<3
May 2011
Play
I need summer...
Like now. School needs to end. I’m done with the stress of school. That’s were all my weight gain is from. Stressing about school. Once school is done I can focus on rebuilding myself. I want to get that body I’ve always dreamed of. I want to be that girl this summer and next school year who turns heads. I want that flat tan stomach. I want to feel comfortable in my body for once. I want to be happy. No one will ever understand what I’m going through. Maybe only a few people but no one will TRULY understand the pain I am going through. I cry myself to sleep almost every night because I’m no pretty. You can tell me 9835982395892358 times and I won’t believe it. I see something completely different in the mirror. I honestly cant wait to work my ass off for the next several weeks and get the body I’ve been dreaming about since I was 13. I want to be the girl that turns heads and make people gasp and say “wow she looks really good.” My body has made me so insecure that I can’t even talk to the guy I like. I’m so insecure about my body and so self conscious that I am more shy than I have ever been. Well for the next several weeks that’s all going to change.
